unplug

When I post something, it's usually based off of my own personal struggles, thoughts, or experiences. That might be why some of my posts come off as "self-help" status. Hell, maybe that should be a tag in itself on my blog. I suppose the general idea is that I use this blog as a last filter, the last tool in my arsenal to reach a moment of clarity in my thoughts... Some lucidity, if you will. Regardless, prepare for an epiphany.

The thought process here is that I hate it when people complain about their situation and do nothing about it. I'll admit, I used to be like that A LOT in high school. A whiny bastard. The theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said it best in his untitled prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference."

I love that, I read it everyday. It's a single-entendre full of the mindset required to make yourself a better person. The people that sit around and complain are the people that expect things to change for them, with no proactive actions on their part. Life will not change on its own. There is no "new life" in real life. You don't get an alter ego. You've got this life. If you're at all unhappy, or at the very least, mildy less than satisfied, then you need to ask yourself "What do I want?" If there is any part of you that wants something better than this, than what you currently have, then stand the fuck up. Unplug. Do it.

Remember that no one can change you except for you. We are creatures of habit. We learn behaviors, we repeat them, until any change of behavior seems impossible. But it’s not. We are creatures driven by our instincts, but not ruled by them. You may be used to this day to day, tedious affair that you recognize as your "life", but that doesn't mean you don't have the power to change it.

Break out of the mold that you set yourself in. Find something new to indulge in, be active, meet people. Never resign yourself to being unsatisfied with life. Life is short, and possibly all we have. Do all you can to make it worth it, and never settle. Find your fucking double rainbow, and make sure it's intense.

nice guys vs Nice Guys™

Everywhere I look there's always a few guys bitching about perpetual friend-zoning. I'll admit that I used to be in this boat too. However, now I realize that there are nice guys, and then there are Nice Guys™. Now nice guys are genuinely good people, they'll respect you, do nice things for you, and basically treat you like they'd treat any friend. The key thing here is that they won't expect anything in return (i.e. sex or romantic interest), nor will they get all passive-aggressive and whiny when they realize that they're in the "friend-zone". They'll just move on, because they realize that not every girl they go after is going to be into them, in addition some also realize that being friends is not the worst thing in the world if the girl is cool enough. These are the guys who are most likely to get into relationships with awesome, non-crazy women that have healthy levels of self-esteem.

Now onto Nice Guys™. Nice Guys™ like to portray themselves as kind and caring souls, shoulders to cry on, and guys who are always "there for you". They make it a point to go out of their way to help you out, but alas there is an ulterior motive. They think that by coming your knight in shining armor, they'll woo you into either falling for them, or at the very least, an all-expenses-paid excursion inside your pants. They put you up on a pedestal instead of talking and interacting with you like you're a regular person. They refuse to speak up when they disagree with something you say, but they won't forget it, oh no, expect it to rear it's ugly head weeks or months later. When they find out that you're not romantically interested in them, they'll throw public or private tantrums and blame it on your lack of interest or that you only like guys that treat you like crap. They're unable to see that their own behavior is disrespectful and dishonest and thus will continue to go after girls who just aren't interested instead of confronting their own issues. Thus, they can always paint themselves as selfless martyrs, hopeless romantics who've simply been played by evil girls who just go cuh-raaaaazy for collar-popping, date-raping, birthday-forgetting losers.

Now they key thing to do here is to analyse your situation and do a self-evaluation. Which one are you? I'm proud to say that I'm the former. Of course I didn't start on that track, rather I just... grew up.

A Simplified Economic Model of the Social Lives of Young Adults

As a freshman at the University of Notre Dame looking at business, economics, and finance as a possible career route, I couldn't help but draw some correlations between the idea of economic models and the dating scene here and possibly at other colleges. In my opinion, you can simplistically model dating and social life as an economic trade. In this sense, young men generally trade emotional support for sex, while young women generally trade sex for emotional support.

If you trade fairly then you have a happy relationship, however when ideal market conditions do not exist, this is where the concept of "nice guy" doormats and "easy girl" sluts come into play. If a female offers the sex too cheaply (i.e. without demanding emotional support in return) then the market value of her product goes down. In turn, uncaring men (aka jerks) will take the sex without giving back emotional support -- this is the stereotypical "easy girl" who only gets invited to frat parties because she puts out easily. Conversely, if a male offers emotional support too easily, then the market value of his product will also go down, and insecure women will take all the support he can offer without having to offer back sex... (at most, he's likely to get some odd bit of flirting as compensation for his product). This is the stereotypical wimpy "nice guy" that girls say "If only he were like you" to. These kinds of guys are kept around and minimally flirted-with because their product (compliments, emotional support, attention) is useful and easy to get. However, a female will never sleep with this kind of male because: A) His product is offered at way below market value, and B) She doesn't take him seriously enough to consider him a potential mate.

It's a cold, sterile model which obviously doesn't capture all of the nuances of socializing and dating for a second, but nonetheless, I believe it is a compellingly simple model that explains the basic idea of "nice guys" and "easy girls" alike. The lesson to be taken from this economic model is that niceness could pay, provided you are NOT EXPLOITABLE. If you price your goods or services too far below market value, nobody will recognize the real significance of what you're offering, thus by extension, they will not value you. More importantly, they won't stop exploiting the use of your services or goods. People will almost never voluntarily pay more than you make them pay. My guess is that, while oversimplified, this is more right than wrong, i.e. a handy way to look at things.

Goals

Earlier today I was talking to my dad about goals in regards to where I want to be in life after college. In the midst of rambling on about majors and graduate school, I realized something epic. I realized that I want the world to know who I am. I want to make millions of dollars. I want to achieve greatness. Lofty goals you may say? Well I say: define lofty goal.

A lofty goal is a high goal isn't it? Well I say why not set your goals high? Of course there is a difference between setting a high goal that you know you can reach versus a high goal that's unreachable. Everyone really needs to look at their lives and see what they can really achieve. The conundrum here is that most people set their goals too low. They really don't see their full potential, they may think that they do, but they really don't. I think that out of a scale of 1 to 10, most people set the bar at 7. Honestly. That's a HUGE amount of potential leftover just because we don't truly see how much we can achieve.

I believe that ambition is the key to success. No scratch that. I believe that there are two main keys to success. One is the ability to set your goal, and two, is the ability to persevere in the pursuit of that goal. You need to be able to see what you want, set the bar high, and be willing to put in the work and effort needed to reach your goal. Seldom is one born with a silver spoon in their mouth. You have to work pretty damn hard if you want something. And you have to work even harder if you want something great.

Back to my epic epiphany. I've decided that I'm in a good position now. College freshman, one semester down, loads more to go. The keys to my future are placed back in my hands even after setting the bar at 7 in high school. Ladies and gentleman, it is time to set the bar at 10. No, fuck that, let's set it at 12 and settle for 10 if we really have to. I do realize how much work I have in store for me. I do realize how many nights I have in store for me where I sit there and bang my head against the table. But then that's what this post is for. This is my moment of inspiration. My epic epiphany. My Invictus. In the hard times that undoubtedly lie ahead, I expect to look back at this often to find the strength to fight on.

As for you, reader. Have a goal and follow it up with copious amounts of determination and effort, you'll be surprised at how much you can achieve.

Get off the roof... the roof... the roof is on fire.

So I'm posting ahead of schedule... I still have two finals to go. History in 4 hours and Chemistry in 10. It's 4:23 am EST right now. My laundry's in the dryers downstairs, 53 minutes to go... tick tock... It's been so long since I've written anything meaningful. I'm not taking a writing class this semester (although I am regretting that decision now), and the papers that I write for Theology are full of mindless psychobabble that I pump out an hour before class. Thus, such work is invalid in my eyes. When I say writing something meaningful, I mean sitting there and delving into your mind, your heart, and your soul in order to find those elements that would make that something perfect -- in your eyes and your reader's eyes.

Even as I sit here and I type out my thoughts, I find that my ability to articulate what I'm thinking is severely diminished. Have you ever tried to talk while holding your tongue? That's what this feels like. "Hold your tongue and say apple" anyone? Regardless, I've decided that this is bad. This is bad because I have to write two timed papers in two hours for my History final in 4 hours. Oh boy. Not nice. Seriously, I've lost the ability to write under pressure. I feel like I'm in grade school again. Geez. I feel stupid. Retarded. I need to refocus and find that ability again. This is awful. To say the least.

Anyway, it is time for me to go back to my stack of Chemistry review material. Expect more posts more often now. After all, practice makes perfect right?

Mini update

So it's been a good 3 or 4 months since my last post here. I meant to post more often about my college experience, but what can I say, it's tough to put up stuff when you have so many things to do! Thus, I've decided to put up a string of posts updating everyone on my college shenanigans after finals are over in a week or two. And if I don't get around to that... then I'll just be sure to post something up with substance, unlike this update.

Good luck with finals! Or should I say

Fuck I Never Actually Learned Shit?

Working... in progress

Recently I've found that it's hard for me to get any work done when I'm at home, so I've had to resort to going to places like Barnes & Noble and Starbucks so that I can focus. One key thing to note is that I can only get something done if I go alone, accompanied only by my trusty laptop and my dad's AT&T Wi-Fi log in. I mention this because the exact opposite happens if I go with someone in a study group, I end up half heartedly trying and failing to get anything done. I think my mentality when it comes to this is that when you're out alone in a place such as Starbucks or B&N, what is there to do but to work and focus on working? While if you go to a place like this with a friend or in a group, it feels more appropriate to talk, catch up, or gossip.

Of course, the question is what am I supposed to be doing right now? Well right now I should be wrapping up a website design for a client, but I took some time out of it to post this blog. No worries though, I'm still settling in. The basic scenario is: I walk into Starbucks, order my usual iced green tea latte, and pick a quaint little table to get settled at. I might spend 15 minutes checking my email, or any of the social networking sites, or updating my blog. Once the 15 minutes are over, I proceed into my most efficient state. For some reason at places like this and in cases like this, the usual desires to go on Facebook and Youtube every few minutes don't seem as important. They're easy to ignore and disregard. I used to think going to Starbucks was just a trendy fad, (or going to coffee shops to work in general). But it seems that even this has found a little niche in my day-to-day. I have a feeling that this is a work/study habit that will definitely stay with me throughout college, especially considering the fact that one of my roommates said the following:

"oh and just to let you know I hope you're cool with partying and stuff cus with that extra room we got we obligated to throw down big time."

Believe it or not, I'm perfectly happy with "throwing down big time" it's just I realize that if home is where I'm going to be throwing down, then I'll have to find another place to work. Because it's common sense that work and play do not mix... Unless you're a pimp... or a hooker. Then work is play, and vice versa.

[photo courtesy of my Nokia E71]

we're the kids in america, wuh oh.

Yes I realize my last post was about 30 minutes ago. Yes I realize I still haven't gotten anything done. No Mr. Speaker, I refuse to answer anymore of your inane questions.... -.- Movinggg on.

I was looking through my old photo albums and I found this little ditty:
Yep, that's me to the left... Now my question is... Uhm... What happened? Seriously, you see that smile that I'm donning? That my friend, is a carefree smile. The only thing I cared about when I was that age was waking up on Saturday mornings to watch Power Rangers. Dang. I miss those days. And looking back, I realize that I'm getting old... Like old fart old. I mean I'm going to college in the fall. And next thing I know, it'll be another four years, and I'll be going through the same hellish application process to get into a graduate school. Who knows what'll happen between then and now... Hopefully I can find some time to fit that carefree smile back in... After these next two weeks. This is a promise to myself and whoever's going to bother reading this. In the meanwhile, I don't really remember the last time I smiled and I didn't have anything on my mind. It's always school, family, money, people, college (yes college is in a different category than school for now), food, and even just figuring out what order I should prioritize them in... This is the part where I sigh. *sigh*

On a side note, there are three things I really want right now, and they all involve food:

Frozen Yogurt







Pho









Sushi

Looking out a dirty old window...

Someone I know once said that she blogs in order to have a reason not to do homework. Well that's my reasoning for this post. I do not want to study for AP Calculus. I do not want to do my make up work for AP Environmental. I do not want to get started on Paper II for Mr. Reid. Ugh. -.- I'll get to them eventually. I should probably get cracking on AP Calculus now though. Disgusting.

I have so many obstacles to overcome before I even think about reading the first paragraph of chapter one of the Princeton Review book. My guitar is to the right of me. My AIM window is open. I have three tabs in my reading queue from Wikipedia. And you know what? I embrace these obstacles. I enjoy every single second I have of not doing meaningful and productive work. Heck, if I tried hard enough, I could probably convince myself not to study or worry about anything at all. But that would be ill-advised. A revocation of my acceptance letter would be quite embarrassing.

Something tells me that I wouldn't be able to laugh about that even if I looked back on it 20 years from now.

Brando out.

in the know

It's 10:00 PM at night. All I hear is the noise of incessant typing and occasional mouse clicks. I'm scouring Wikipedia like I normally do, rather than submitting to the tediousness of homework or the sweet allure of sleep. The thought of writing my college statements passes through my mind. How am I supposed to convince colleges that I am unique in less than 500 words? Obviously not through my grades or extracurriculars, everyone has those. I’m honestly not sure, but I do know that Al Capone's business card stated he was a used furniture dealer, and that Coca-Cola was originally green. I did not learn this in school. No, I learned it in my living room, through the man-made wonder of Wikipedia. I have spent many nights trading sleep for knowledge. Random knowledge but knowledge nonetheless. Put simply, I learn to live and I live to learn.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that one of the qualities that I find most endearing about myself is my curiosity. Whether it is religion, race, gender, or age, I never fail to find something worth learning and absorbing. Attempting to find out why people think the way they do is my primary motive. I’m the type of person to ask, "Why?" any chance that I get. The world is very complicated, and I try to learn more about it one day at a time. How does my curiosity make me unique from the countless applicants competing for a spot in the class of 2013? Well for one, it’s intense, it’s a passion, and it’s a driving force in my life. Curiosity to me is not some passing thought, it drives me to learn without being told to learn, and it guarantees that I will learn for the sake of learning, not for some letters on a transcript.